Things Never Really Change
by Rave-Widow
Summary: The truth behind why Raven is so dismissive of Beast Boy. Raven's POV. BBxRae
1. Chapter 1

** Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans!!! There you happy now!.  
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**Things Never Really Change.**

I watched him throughout all the changes and admired him each time, from high-pitched freak to his calls for attention. I have sat through girly gossip sessions and group discussions blocking their comments and spiteful lies as my heart swelled with bliss. I've done unspeakable things, I've told lies and learn all the stuff I shouldn't know. I've whispered my secrets into the ears of those friends who criticized him to receive recognition that they know I'm still alive. All these were necessary.

Nothing hurt me more than pretending to ignore him or watching him with that blonde traitor who we took in who betrayed our trust. Nothing hurt me more than watching his heartbreak and not being able to tell him it will all be okay. Nothing hurt more than knowing he will be gone and that makes what little of my heart I have burst. He does not know it but I love him…. No, I loved him.

I have sat on the sidelines watching his crushed and listening to the high squeals produced from fan girls who do not really know him. I have seen all his sides and I loved all of them. I have listening to the bitching and the sighing as he passes by and I kept quiet.

It has been two years since I first loved him and I spent those nights dreaming of him. Two years of hard work trying not to show him how I feel. Two years may not seem that long, but in those years, I became more than just a girl, I became a woman, something special to those around me and they became invisible to me all I could see was him. He became my best friend but nothing more, so I closed myself off again.

He is leaving us, leaving me. He is moving away. I have wasted two years and my darkest secrets I have revealed knowing that he will never be able to use them against me.

Nevertheless, I never told him…

"I love you"

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Author Note: This is my writing style and i will not be mentioning names all the way through the story but i'm sure you get the idea. By the way, I really like reviews and your flames will be really helpful. 


	2. He has gone now

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans and I have to live with that so stop rubbing it in.**

**Just a foreword this was not my planned chapter 2 but I thought you might have needed to know a bit more than I told you in the first chapter. Enjoy!  
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**Chapter 2: He has gone  
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It has been 4 days since he left for that stupid mission in Great Britain. Traffic light claims that it will boost the international popularity of the Teen Titans and in turn that of my love.

He moved over there to train the Titans who will protect the UK. He still does not know that I love him and I am not sure I can leave him in the dark. I have been in the darkest part of our world and it takes time to adapt to the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that engulfs you.

He will never know that I love him, I will never be able to tell him, when it comes to my emotions, I lock them away in my mind.

Whenever he was near me, I would struggle against them and prevail only for a second to threaten him and remove myself from his presence. Now's he's gone and all I have left is those sweet memories of when we were able to be like ordinary teens, with no powers, no city to protect, no villains, not heroes, just teenagers enjoying life.

I know what they call me, I have felt every emotion but this is by far the emptiest I have felt. I wake each morning with no hope within me. I am alive, I should be glad but all I want is him to be near me, telling me jokes that will never be funny, poking me to check that I'm still alive, to know that I'll always love him.

I will not tell him. It will ruin his mission and it will be the death of our friendship, if you could call it that. I am too weak to tell him and he will never want a witch to love him. I am the emotionless, cold-hearted demon who tries to change her fate only to fall for a man who will never feel the same. I am not worthy of his love and so I will never tell him.

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**Well there you go, you ask me to continue, I have two chapters already written but they may need tweaking, so expect them in the near future.**


	3. Eternal Angel

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I will not marry the creators so that I can.**

**Eternal Angel**

He came back to see me no one else but me. For the weekend, he showed the UK Titans around the tower, so it was barely as if he was there. On the last day, some villain broke out and Sir traffic light led the recruits into battle giving us time together. It was awkward at first and I had sworn to myself that I would not tell him. However, secrets never stay that way for long and while he was telling me all about the trainees, I could not help but stare at him. This may seem stupid but in those few seconds, I was on cloud nine.

Therefore, I unlocked my heart, so he knows now. I had to build up the courage but he knows and he needed to know. I am his constant reminder that not everything has to change and the reason to come back. We never had the courage to say anything until it was too late.

I have told him and he has told me, so you would think everything was going to fine now, but we are superheroes and nothing turns out as it does in fairy tales. We have to different paths ahead of us and although they travelled side by side, they never joined until that moment. That kissed. I tingle every time I think of it. Our worlds collided but were ripped apart. The beat of my heart has never slowed since those lips pressed against mine.

We joined for that moment and then he had to leave again out of my life at least he knows I am always here, waiting. He left with that cocky grin that makes me go weak at the knees. That smile revealed his secret to me, he knows how he affects me, and next time we meet, he will have me in the palm of his hand. I will never forget him, I will never fear him only want more of what he has given me, Love and Hope, two of the most human emotions that I have longed for.

I am eternally his fallen angel with a taste for the darkness.

**So there is chapter 3 and to my reviewers: thank you for all your input and keep reviewing. As you can guess, I write very short chapters but again that is just my writing style.******


	4. Control me

**Typical Disclaimer: I do not own the teen titans but I wish I did, so genie grant that please!****  
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**Control me.**

I love him; there is no maybe about it. I saw him only 2 days ago and I already think that I will never see him again or that he will find someone better for him. I am insecure like that. It is stupid but it is just how I am.

The feel of his lips still linger on mine. My heart pounds when I catch a glimpse of anything that reminds me of him. I am hopelessly in love with him. I want to be dominated by him, giving him complete control of me. I crave his touch and I crave him.

He calms me in any of my moods, he gives me butterflies when he strokes my leg or brushes against, it is his reminder that he now I am here.

His eyes can search my very soul and see all my secrets like an open book. I am like a never-ending story that only he can read. Even with the emotionless personality I display, he can see every emotion from the tiniest movements of my eyes. When he pesters me, I want to kiss him until we run out of breath.

Just a single thought of him makes me shiver and tingle. When I close eyes, his hands drift over my body. God, he makes me feel whole. He tells me the things I have longed to hear, that he loves me, that I am unique and special. He makes me feel like a goddess not a demon with a dark past and a bright future.

Nevertheless, he has gone back and I long for him so desperately that it scares me.

He knows it and I think he secretly enjoys seeing me grow weak under his touch. He makes everything seem like it is going to work out just fine. He has always had that power over me, its part of his charismatic charm.

He makes me feel human.

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**Okay so that's chapter 4, I hope to post chapter 5 tomorrow but you'll have to wait for chapter 6 cause i've not written it yet.**

**Keep Reading, love you all, especially you and you know who you are.**

**Rave-Widow xx **


	5. Return to me

**Disclaimer : I love teen titans but sadly I do not own them, if I did then Robin would be a drunk!  
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**Return to me. **

Thirty-seven days since I saw him last and he is due to return from the first stage of his mission. Its report day, sir traffic light is pacing, checking his watch every 5 seconds. His girl is in her usual hype, floating around and exclaims every so often that we have forgotten something, like a pudding of safe return. He is going to walk back into my life in 10 minutes time. The butterflies in my stomach are driving me crazy. I have checked how I look fourteen times, how does he make me act like this?

I heard his voice travel through the tower; I am desperately trying not to look bothered that he is coming home. The book in my hands is going unread as the seconds drag on by. All this waiting is going to kill me.

Those doors slide open; she emits that high-pitched squeal that I am so familiar with. I pretend not to notice his arrival. I do not want him to think I have been painfully waiting for him; I do not want him to know just how much I have missed him. He strides past her open arms to sprawl upon the couch next to me. Right at that moment, the cocky smile emanates from him and a hand brush across my thigh, his calling card, telling me he is there without disturbing me from my thought except that is, in reality, what he has done. My eyes spring to a forward view, not daring to look at him in case he disappears before my eyes. His breath tickles my neck as he leans in to whisper.

"You know you would finish that book faster if it was open."

I had not noticed it had been closed all the time it was in my hands. It is the small observations that he makes that are funny not the corny jokes he spills out in an attempt to make me laugh. He has not moved, his hand still rests upon my leg and his breath makes me tingle in anticipation. Those soft lips press down on my neck; I cannot control all these emotions for much longer. He looks at me, our eyes lock and a magnetic force brings our lips together.

His hand moves to rest on my hip as our kiss deepens. I love the taste of him; the one thing I have craved for the past thirty-seven days. I am complete here with him. We separate only to look at each other again. There is the sound of breaking glass, I bite my lip and stare at the floor, his hand lifts my chin to face him again, I am greeted with that amazing smile and all I can do is giggle.

He turns to look at the one person he needs approval from, the man I look up to as a big brother, he smiles and there is all the confidence I need. He mesmerises me with light flicks of his fingers against my skin, he pulled me up to stand before him and into a tight embrace. He whispered

"I love you."

I felt everything around me spin and he stared at me as my cloak changed colours so fast I could not keep track of it. I must have blacked out because when I woke up he was leaning over me, worry plastered on his face. Everything was hazy and all I could glimpse was the startling white of my cloak. He saw my eyes open and his smile returned.

**_He will always be there in my time of need._**

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**This is my longest chapter so far!!!! Yay Go Me!! Hope you all like it!  
Keep Reviewing :-)**

**Rave-Widow xx  
**


	6. You Have Freed Me

**Disclaimer :**** Teen titans is own by some evil people and not me. I love them for the idea but hate them for the cancellation of the cartoon series. I am torn. cries in emo corner**

**Author Note : This is the last chapter because I can't write anymore without feeling like a betraying someone. I would just like to make it public knowledge that this story was based on my life and that I am very glad that you all enjoyed it! Thank You Kind People!!**

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**You have freed me.**

Three hours, this is ridiculous, I blacked out for half a minute and suddenly I am the most important person on the earth. Not that I am complaining much, I keep getting sympathy hugs and looks of apology from him. I do not really know why, he unlocked my emotion and freed me from the curse of my father, granted he did have help from the rest of the team when I fulfilled the prophecy, but he took the last of my fathers hold away from me. Demon blood still flows through my veins but it no longer will get in the way of me. I am who I always wanted to be. I am free to show everyone the girl he knows I am. I just wish they would stop fussing over me.

I would have healed myself were I seriously injured. I fell unconscious I did not die. He keeps saying he is sorry all I can do is giggle, nothing is wrong with me except that I am free to act human for the first time in my life. If the Azar had told me that one day I would be free of his power then I would have laughed in her face. It was my choice to fall in love and I want to thank him for freeing me from the psychological shackles of my father. I flash him the smile that I only give to him. A weak smile grew on his lips in return. I ripped all of the medical equipment from me, standing up defiantly to the sheer terror of the others; I walk towards him, entwining our hands as I look back at our bewildered friends.

"I am fine" my monotone voice still strong, "and for your information there will be no unplanned explosions of power from me." I flashed a smile that only he knew was faked before walking out of the medical bay, hands still locked together. I had no idea where we were going I was just following my feet. He looked at me quizzically, with playfulness. I just giggled and returned to the couch were the whole ordeal had began.

"Why couldn't you just have done all that hours ago?" he questioned laughter hinted in his voice. I shrugged and stared at the floor  
"I sort of needed to know that you would not insist I get checked over." He gives me the strength to do everything I want but he also makes me shy away because they are something I am just not ready to say. I suppose that is why I have written all of this down. This whole part of my life that I'll never forget is documented for other to know that I was not always so normal and that even though I will never be normal he gave me the strength to show the real me. Best of all, he told him I am no longer overly scary but he still likes to reminded me that I will never change too much. I still read, write and exclude myself from my friends at times but now I have a different reason to do so. I have him at my side telling me the world is out there and want to see the real me that he strived to find and unleash.

Sometimes I think he has bitten off more than he can chew, but who am I to judge?  
_**I am just a girl who has fall in love with a man who changed and changed her in the process.**_

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**That is the end of this wild story. Hope you enjoyed it and I look forward to hearing from all you rave reviewers in the futures. Sorry I did not reply to the reviews but I barely find time to type these up let alone talk to my friends.**

**Ciao Rave-Widow xx**


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